My Bedroom-Draft One
My bedroom is a small place. When you walk in the door, you 'll see the closet first. It's a big closet. I put all my close in it. On the left wall is my bed, it's also a small bed, but it's really comfortable. There is a desk beside my bed. There are many books on it. The right wall is lined my two cabinets. One of them is filled with my dolls, like Hello Kitty, Snoopy, and Teddy Bear. Another is my bookcase. I put my old textbooks and novels there. And on the top of the wall are three posters. They are my favorite singers' pictures. In the middle of the room is a carpet which is my birthday present. Although this is a small room, I like it very much.

7 Comments:
I think " On the left wall is my bed"should correct to "On the left hand of the wall is ...",it seems better.
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When you walk in the door
我認為你可用
when you walk in my room
I put all my close in it.
I put all my clothes in it
On the left wall is my bed
我會用
On the left side of the wall is ...
The right wall is lined my two
The right wall is lined with my ...
大概就上述的那樣吧。
"When you walk in the door"
when you walk into* the door.
"On the left wall is my bed"改成
on the left side of the wall is my bed
其他都OK了吧
"When you walk in the door..."
我認為可用
When you walk into the room...
"close" should be clothes
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