Vivian's writting class

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Cinderlla's Valentine's Day-Draft two

Today is Valentine’s Day, Cinderella’s boyfriend, Brian, makes a phone call to her in the morning. She is very happy to hear his voice, because she thinks that he won’t forget this important day of couples, but she is wrong. A few minutes later, Brian tells her that he wants to break up with her. Cinderella is very shock and she doesn’t want to believe it. She starts to cry; Brian feels very nervous. Then she asks him the reason. He tells her that he likes boys, not girls. He also feels very sorry to her. At the same time, Cinderella cries much louder, because she conceives a child, and the baby’s father is Brian. She is too sad to say any words. What a poor girl she is.

1 Comments:

Blogger gimliong said...

Today is Valentine’s Day, and Cinderella’s boyfriend, Brian, makes a phone call to her in the morning. She is very happy to hear his voice because she thinks that he doesn’t forget this important day for couples, but she is wrong. A few minutes later, Brian tells her that he wants to break up with her. Cinderella is very shocked and she doesn’t want to believe it. She starts to cry; Brian feels very nervous. Then she asks him the reason. He tells her that he likes boys, not girls. He also feels very sorry to her. At the same time, Cinderella cries much louder because she is pregnant, and the baby’s father is Brian. She is too sad to say any words. What a poor girl she is.

It's is right to use past tense!!!

1:32 AM  

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