Computers-Draft two
Computers are playing an important role in our daily life. They have already been widely used in entertainment. With it, we can listen to music, watch the latest movie, and play the online games, etc. We can use it to make friends, such as get into the chat room, send the e-mail, or talk on the MSN. It can help somebody who is introversive to make more friends. Besides, through the computer network, we can get the new information, and do the homework quickly. Because of that, we can have more time to do other things which we want to do.
Personally, I have a liking for computers. I think it is very convenient, because we can do a lot of things by using it. First, we can use it to pay the bill in stead of going to the bank and stand in a long line. Second, we can also do the shopping on the Internet. Nowadays some people are so busy that they don’t have time to walk on the street and find what they want. But if they use the Internet, they can spend less time and buy all the things they want. To be sure, the personal computer has become a very good assistant we can't do without.
Personally, I have a liking for computers. I think it is very convenient, because we can do a lot of things by using it. First, we can use it to pay the bill in stead of going to the bank and stand in a long line. Second, we can also do the shopping on the Internet. Nowadays some people are so busy that they don’t have time to walk on the street and find what they want. But if they use the Internet, they can spend less time and buy all the things they want. To be sure, the personal computer has become a very good assistant we can't do without.

1 Comments:
Computers are playing an important role in our daily life. They have already been widely used in entertainment. With them, we can listen to music, watch the latest movie, and play the online games, etc. We can use it to make friends, such as getting into the chat room, sending the e-mail, or talking on the MSN. It can help somebody who is introversive to make more friends. Besides, through the computer network, we can get new information and do the homework quickly. Because of that, we can have more time to do other things which we want to do.
Personally, I have a liking for computers. I think it is very convenient, because I can do a lot of things by using it. First, I can use it to pay the bill in stead of going to the bank and stand in a long line. Second, I can also do the shopping on the Internet. Nowadays some people are so busy that they don’t have time to walk on the street and find what they want. But if they use the Internet, they can spend less time and buy all the things they want. To be sure, the personal computer has become a very good assistant we can't do without.
* 第二段出現大錯誤:
第二段以我為中心敘述,人稱需要一致,並且從Nowadays開始以描述到其他人,更偏離主題句。
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